And then I realized, like I was shot. Like I was shot with a diamond… a diamond bullet right through my forehead, and I though: my God the genius of that, the genius. The will to do that. Perfect. Genuine.Complete. Crystalline. Pure. And then I realized they were stronger than we because they could stand that these were no monsters. These were men… trained cadres. These men who fought with their hearts, who had families, who had children, who were filled with love… but they had the strength, the strength to do that. If I had ten divisions of those men our troubles here would be over very quickly. You have to have men who are moral and at the same time who are able to utilize their primordial instincts to kill without feeling, without passion…without judgement, without judgement. Because it’s judgement what defeats us.
Francis Ford Coppola, Apocalypse Now (Kurtz’ speech)
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Would that be true for us, composers, too ?
I mean when inventing music, it’s the instant like/dislike of whatever are we doing what stops us of doing it in a straight, complete, genuine way?
It’s judgement what stops us of doing it in a way in which the idea goes beyond our self-proclaimed artistic beliefs and gets an independent existence, like a living being?